10 Ways to Boost Your Happiness Ante Today

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August 4, 2011

BE HEALTHY – BE HAPPY! Here’s 10 ways to boost your happiness ante today!

Random Acts of Kindness:  In today’s world it seems so many are focused on “me, me, me!”  Is a self-absorbed world a happy world?  Research shows that the opposite is really true.  Changing your focus and looking out for the other guy can actually boost your spirits more than you might realize.  You don’t have to try to change the world overnight, but sometimes a simple random act of kindness can make a huge difference.  Pay for the guy’s coffee that’s in line behind you.  Hold a door open for someone and say something cheerful.  Set a goal to make a few people smile every single day.  These simple acts are going to make you feel great and are very contagious to those around you. 

Surround yourself with happy people:  You remember the kid’s story of Winnie the Pooh? Even in the 100-Acre Woods, Pooh Bear sometimes had to deal with the negative attitude of Eeyore.  “Good morning, Pooh Bear, “ said Eeyore gloomily.  “If it is a good morning that is,” he said.  “Which I doubt,” said he. How long would it take for this negative mood to become yours?  If you purposely surround yourself with positive, happy people, their energy is going to rub off on you.  As for the “Eeyore’s” in your own life, take care of them in small doses.  Your good vibe is likely to rub off on them, but don’t give them a chance to bring you down.

Be solution oriented:  When things are going truly badly, accept it as part of life.  Everyone has down cycles and realizing that everything eventually changes will help you to stay positive.  Make a list of simple steps you can take to move in a better direction.  Sometimes even just the thought process involved in taking action can be a positive step.  Weigh your options and think positively.

Do things that make you happy:  Sometimes when you are feeling a little bit off kilter you have to kind of force the issue a bit.  “Fake it until you make it” are words to live by in these instances.  Doing things that you truly enjoy is a great place to start.  Even if you are tempted to just bury yourself in the house and not do anything—getting out and doing something you enjoy is going to make you feel a lot better.

Increase Intimacy:  Yes, this means having more sex!  Connecting with your partner and increasing the level of intimacy between the two of you is going to do a lot of good things.  Sex relieves stress, boosts your immunity and makes you feel better about yourself.  Sex also increases the Oxytocin levels in your body which makes you feel better in general and will make you easier to live with—which in turn may lead to more sex.  This is a not-so-vicious cycle that you might actually enjoy being stuck in.  If your sex life has gone a bit stale, don’t be afraid to try some very sexy lingerie to entice your partner back into the bedroom.  Wearing something beautiful and sexy is going to make you feel fabulous and the message it sends isn’t likely to be misunderstood. 

See the humor in things:  Even the most difficult of circumstances often have a humorous or bright side to them.  Sometimes just consciously thinking, “this situation will make a really great story one day” will help you to see your way out of the problem and realize that things will get better.  Learning to cope in the moment through humor and a positive outlook can only help things seem better.

Take some time off:  All work and no play makes for a dull boy (or girl), or so they say.  Work is important, but a break from it is necessary to keep yourself from getting burned out.  A day off now and then (or even longer if that’s feasible) is an important as well as mind-clearing break.  The work will always be there when you get back, it’s not likely to go anywhere but taking a breather sometimes will help you tackle your job anew, along with a fresh attitude and happier spirit.

Attitude of gratitude:  The old adage “count your blessings” applies every single day.  Be grateful for all that you have that is right and wonderful and acknowledge those things.  Yes, things could always be better, but they could also always be worse.  Being grateful for what you have is a big step toward a happier existence.

Accept what you can’t control:  Some things are just out of your hands.  Learn to let those things go and invest your time and energy wisely into those things you actually have something to say about.  Live positively in the moment.

Live Healthfully:  Move your body and get some exercise whenever possible.  (Yes, sex does burn some calories, too.)  Make sure your diet has lots of fruits, veggies and whole grains.  Drink lots of water, and by all means get plenty of sleep.  You will be amazed at how simple changes in your diet and exercise plan can make a huge difference in how you feel and in your outlook as well.

Dare to dream:  Dream big—the kind of dreams you dream while awake, of course.  Set goals for yourself and make plans for the future.  Envision yourself doing the things you dream about and take a step, even a small one, in that direction.  Even the smallest progress is uplifting.

No one else can make you happy—you have to do that for yourself.  Being accountable and accepting that you are in charge of your own happiness is a huge step toward finding your happiest life.  Make the changes you need to and remember that happiness is always a choice—make it yours. 

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Friends With Benefits: Our List of Considerations

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July 20, 2011

On July 22, the romantic comedy, “Friends With Benefits” hits theatres.  The movie is about two friends that have been emotionally drained by previous relationships and decide to “up the ante” of their platonic friendship so it includes  “no strings attached” sex.  Does this type of relationship stand a prayer of working out?  Here’s our list of things to consider before embarking on a “Friends with Benefits” or FWB adventure of your own.

Sex without strings:  In theory, it sounds great, probably more so to men than women.  If you have 2 people who agree upfront (with complete and total honesty) that a casual, non-emotional sexual relationship is okay, well it might be worth giving it a whirl.  The secret may be to not let the relationship go on for very long.  The longer this sexual, non-emotional fling lasts, the less likely it is to stay non-emotional.  Keep it short and sweet if you can–but there belies the problem.  Once you’ve started this type of relationship—how do you end it without pain or awkwardness?

Convenient for commitment-phobes:  The FWB relationship is the perfect forum for those that fear the idea of commitment or just aren’t ready to commit.  It’s a good way to get free and easy sex with someone you probably know and trust without having to get emotionally entangled.  By this definition, the FWB relationship actually sounds pretty good, but the reality is bound to be much more complicated than it sounds.

Hidden agendas:  What happens if one of the 2 parties involved in this arrangement has some sort of a hidden agenda?  If one of the 2 participants involved secretly thinks, “if I just love them a lot, and the sex is great…well maybe true love and a real relationship will follow…”  This way of thinking is the kiss of death because the other person involved got in this arrangement in the first place for precisely the reason stated at the get go.  No strings. 

Someone will get hurt:  Sooner or later, odds are that someone in this relationship is going to get hurt.  If one person isn’t completely honest about wanting more than just sex from the relationship, when they don’t get what they want they are going to feel bad and it’s going to create a hurtful situation.  Feelings change over time, too.  What started out platonically sometimes morphs into something much more—this can be excruciating if it’s only felt by one-half of the duo. 

Unexpected disasters:  Whenever you are dealing with sex, there are the obvious pitfalls and disasters that must be considered.  STD’s, unwanted pregnancies and of course…feelings.  Having a FWB relationship involves risking all of these three potentially disastrous situations.   Sex is good, but it’s also fleeting.  The after burn of any of the above could be long lasting.  You may even lose a really good friend in the process.

Keeps you too busy:  If you are busily getting your groove on with your FWB all the time, perhaps this is keeping you from making yourself available for what you really want–a long term relationship based on love, not just sex.  Why are you are settling for this uncommitted, sexual friendship if what you really want is something more meaningful? 

Weird jealousies:  Are you okay with your FWB having sex with any number of other people as well?  It’s something to think about and people have been known to get jealous as well as possessive in these scenarios even if it was agreed upon upfront that this wasn’t supposed to happen.  Rarely do FWB relationships ever go according to plan.

You’re going to have some explaining to do:  If you are hooking up with a friend that’s already part of a group of friends that you hang out with, discretion is mandatory or really weird and potentially awkward explanations are going to have to be made at some point.   Don’t be surprised if not everyone is sympathetic to your agenda.  The other potential problem is that someday when you do find yourself in a real relationship, it will come out at some point that you engaged in a FWB fling in the past.  This could potentially make any actual friendship you have with a member of the opposite sex up for suspicion with your partner.  Your significant other may justifiably wonder if you are thinking about having sex with that friend, too.

Mars and Venus:  The natural differences between men and women make this type of friendship difficult from the beginning.  It’s been said that women have sex to fall in love, while men fall in love to have sex.  If a guy can just skip over the love part and go straight to the sex part, more often than not, he’s a happy camper.  Obviously even guys, in time, can get emotionally attached, too.   A man is naturally better equipped and wired as well to be able to compartmentalize sex as the physical act that it is, and can oftentimes keep their heart completely out of it.

We are all human:  Even with the best-laid plans in place, the FWB road is still paved with many potential disasters and is fraught with quite a few pitfalls.   Knowing what you are up against can help you weigh out the pros and cons in your mind so you can make a better decision as to whether this type of relationship style can actually work for you. 

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Cleavage: Need We Say More?

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July 10, 2011

Cleavage.  Smart women everywhere know how to flaunt it.  Men will revere it.  It doesn’t seem to matter what age, shape or size cleavage comes in–all of it is worth a second look.  There is small cleavage, large cleavage, ginormous cleavage, semi-elongated cleavage, amped up cleavage and simply ready to rupture forth cleavage.  If you are a woman, chances are you already know what you have to work with in the cleavage department.  If you are a man, you just love to look at all those delicious mounds.  Sometimes the male reaction is nothing more than a nod and perhaps an appreciative glance.   Other times, when the cleavage shown is much more cosmic and reaches the level of a true over-achiever-the male reaction is bound to be much more dramatic. 

Where did all this fuss about partial breast exposure come from anyway?  Let’s face it—there is something intoxicatingly suggestive about cleavage.  Here’s a few facts that you may not be aware of when it comes to your décolletage which will hopefully inspire you to make the most of yours.

Thank Hollywood:  Back sometime in the 1930’s, the Motion Picture industry came up with the Motion Picture Production Code.  This code was designed to decide what motion picture viewers of the day were going to be able to see and hear at the movies.  The term “cleavage” was created and became the term used to describe the  “the shadowed depression dividing an actress’ bosom into two distinct sections.” 

The Wicked Lady:  Apparently she must have been very, very naughty.  At least the movie by this same title was considered quite controversial in it’s day.  The film “The Wicked Lady” was a period piece with costumes that were considered historically accurate, and did indeed flaunt quite a bit of voluptuous cleavage.  In order for this British film to be shown in the U.S. and to adhere to the “code” several costly “cleavage-flaunting” scenes had to be re-shot.  

Treasure or Trashy:  We aren’t living in the 30’s or the 40’s anymore and women (and obviously men) are much more progressive in their thinking about the use of cleavage.  In the essay “A Brief History of Cleavage,” the American poet Wayne Koestenbaum discusses enthusiastically a woman’s bosom buffet and describes it as a “sign of sophistication…a gift.”  Knowing when and how to use the power of cleavage is an art that a wise woman will realize has a sultry power in and of itself.

Enough Is Enough:  There may be times when an overabundant cleavage shouldn’t be used.  Some image consultants feel that the exposing of any significant cleavage in the business world is inappropriate.  Erring on the side of caution in professional circumstances and keeping your cleavage under wraps may be prudent and classy.  Too much exposure in business situations may not give you exactly the kind of attention you are looking for. Such scenarios might be considered the cleavage-off limits zone.

Push Those Babies Up:  When it’s time to maximize your cleavage the importance of an appropriate bra can’t be overlooked.  There are many bras designed for the sole purpose of creating and maximizing very sexy cleavage and will make the most of what you have—even in smaller breasted woman.  Push up bras, demi-bras, corsets and bustiers all are designed to create and enhance beautiful cleavage and accentuate your bustline.  Sexy lingerie choices will make the most of your cleavage and help you out where perhaps nature didn’t.  There’s cleavage—and then there’s cleavage.  Keep in mind what function you are going to and use yours to its full advantage! 

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