Sexting 101: Sexting Tips for Men and Women

Sexting Tips for Men and Women

Boys will be boys.  And that goes for big boys and apparently Congressmen, too.  The ink hasn’t even dried on the latest dish on Arnie and his lovechild and already, another political person has gone “bad boy” on us.  It seems that a new limelighter has bent the rules (again) and decided that the world needed to see much, much more of him than they were formerly getting.   Anthony Weiner is certainly the most infamous celebrity sexter in recent days (move over Brett Favre) and the whole situation does leave us a bit baffled.  The truth is always so much stranger than fiction and honestly you just couldn’t make some of this stuff up!

It seems that no matter how many of these situations go bad there are still guys out there who are going to send their own Mr. Johnson out cyber-calling.  For these guys (and you girls, too who might be tempted to get naked in a sext message of your own) we’ve compiled a few guidelines that are going to hopefully keep your sexting where it belongs—as a sexy, (and hopefully very private) consensual conversation between two interested, adult people. 


Who’s this for?  Guys– as much as you love your package (we know you do) and are so proud of all it can do—please consider how a woman feels about seeing the same thing appear on her small screen.   A woman may not be as turned on by receiving this type of a pictorial message as you are by sending it to her.

Never send an out of nowhere sext:  This scenario has “disaster” written all over it.  Trust me, no woman wants your initial contact with her to be something that could be construed as creepy.  You should always have an established intimate relationship with any woman you’d ever consider sexting and it’s probably a good idea to ask her how she feels about receiving a sexy picture before you hit the send button.

It’s all about trust.  Who can you really trust?  You have to ask yourself…”how well do I really know this woman?”  If you sent her a sexy picture, would she keep your privates-private?  Or would she quickly (while giggling) show your pic to all her friends?  Once the photo is forwarded to one of her friends it can disseminate rapidly.

Consider a new definition of sexy:  Sometimes complete nudity isn’t as sexy as leaving something to the imagination.  Consider leaving your jeans on with perhaps just the top button open.  Leave your big head out of the shot—with no face there is no positive identity and trust me that might just be your ace in the hole.  No matter how much proof or evidence someone has that you are the owner of the sexy package in the pic— in a desperate situation you can always deny, deny, deny.

Consider the pros and cons:  First and foremost ask yourself if the picture were to leak out how damaging would it be to you, your family and your career.  If the answer strikes anywhere on the painOmeter, just don’t go there. It’s not worth it. 

Realize that women are wired differently:  If your agenda is to arouse and tease your girlfriend or spouse then the text part of the message is as important as the picture.  Women respond to feelings and emotions stronger than visual images so in order for your sext to have the desired effect be sure to attach a meaningful as well as sexy message to it, not just a picture.  Try something like “I can’t get my mind off of you—here’s the proof” or something like that.  The sentiment is actually just as (or more) important as the photograph.


If your guy has sent you a sexy text message and you want to return the favor, here are a few tips for women that will help you retain your privacy and yet let you have a little fun with your favorite guy as well.

Guys like to brag:  The trust issue is critical if you are considering sending a sexy photo to your man, Keep in mind that guys like to show off and there is a very high likelihood that he will be tempted to show the pic to his buddies for bragging rights—even if you’ve ask him not to.  If you can’t trust your man not to display your picture then you really should avoid sending him one altogether.  When in doubt, just don’t.

Stay incognito:  Don’t ever sext a completely nude photo with your face in it.   If you want your face in the photo, wearing some sexy lingerie will keep yourself partially covered while still being incredibly sexy.  Leaving something to the imagination is tantalizing and will send a message to your guy without the same risk involved as a more risqué shot.  A leg in a thigh high stocking and a high heel can make a very alluring photo.  If you use your imagination you will come up with ideas that are both sexy and will still retain most of your privacy.  Put your hair up, face away from the camera and look over your shoulder so your face is in shadow and can’t be seen.  You don’t have to show a ton of skin to get a hot and sexy message through to your guy.  Save the really good stuff for private quarters.

If you ask the professionals (whoever they are) they are going to tell you that sending sext messages is generally a very bad idea.  Just look at today’s headlines-there is no such thing as being 100% safe once something hits cyberspace.  Being as that we are living in a world of human beings, however, it seems unlikely that everyone is going to listen to that advice—besides, where’s the real fun in that?  Since sexting is obviously here to stay, hopefully these tips will help to keep you out of any major trouble and keep your privacy intact as well.

"Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better."
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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