His Lagging Libido … How to Rev It Up

His Lagging Libido

You can ditch this myth.  Men are always horny, ready and sexually raring to go 24/7 and when it comes to sex, they are always in the mood.  The truth is, when it comes to sexual incompatibility–meaning one partner wants more sex than the other one does–30-40% of the time it’s the man with lagging desire.  This statistic is somewhat surprising, particularly since we come from a society that perpetuates the notion that men are basically all horn dogs and when it comes to sex, their appetite for it is supposed to be nearly insatiable.  When faced with the reality of a man having a lagging libido, a woman might (and probably will) blame herself for his change in attitude.  She may assume that the problem is her fault or even wonder if he is cheating. The truth is, more likely than not, what is going on actually has little to do with her at all.

Physical Health:  If your man has a marked plummet in his libido, it may be time for a visit to the doctor to get a proper check up.  There are many health reasons that can affect sexual desire and a physician is the best one to make a proper diagnosis and can make suggestions that will get your man back on track.  Some medications can also impact libido, so be sure his physician knows of any side effects he may be experiencing from his meds.  Sometimes even with a clear bill of health a man may experience a drop in his sexual desire.  At that point, even simple lifestyle changes like getting regular exercise and improving his diet can make a big difference.  Alcohol abuse is also known to kill libido.

Emotional Health:  Sometimes when a man is going through a serious love life lull the answer simply lies in his daily life and what may be going on within it.  Men are not always the best at expressing what is bothering them, so if something is on his mind it may be consuming him to the point that sex is not even on his radar.  Work pressures, family issues or other matters can all affect your man’s level of sexual desire.

Personal Wiring:  It’s perfectly normal for men to have varying levels of desire for sex.  The trick is to have a partner whose libido is in sync with your own, which makes for perfect sexual simpatico.   When one partner is lagging, the other may feel rejected, inadequate and most certainly their sexual needs are not being met.  Sometimes a man just needs a little nudge in the right direction, and there definitely are ways you can boost your man’s desire. 

  • Don’t be accusatory or confrontational.  Do let him know that you miss being close to him and miss your sexual connection.
  • Don’t be afraid to try and seduce him.  Send him a racy text message when he is at work and see how he responds.  Put a sexy note in his briefcase.  Buy some sexy lingerie and tell him you are wearing it just for him.
  • Whisper something rated x in his ear when you are alone together.
  • Be aware of his body rhythms.  Some men are more likely to be in the mood in the morning as opposed to the evening when they are tired.  Be flexible.

The truth is that many men have periods in their life when they aren’t thinking about sex as much as their partners might like.  Getting into sync as a couple is worth the effort, as you will both reap the benefits of this increased connection in body and soul.

How To Take a Great (and Sexy) Selfie

How to Take a Great Selfie

Selfies and social media go hand in hand.  If you haven’t yourself taken a selfie, you might be alone.  These days, nearly everyone (and we do mean everyone) is taking his or her own picture, mostly to post on social media platforms.  Celebrities, politicians and plenty of everyday Joe’s just want to get their picture out there–and once they do, it’s usually online acknowledgement that they crave, in the form of “likes” or comments.  You can call the selfie phenomenon a weird form of narcissism, or perhaps it’s just the latest way the masses communicate with one another, but no matter how you slice it, the selfie is here to stay.  In 2013, the Oxford Dictionary recognized the term “selfie” as the word of the year.  Since the selfie is clearly not going anywhere, we strongly suggest that you learn how to take a good one.  Here are a few tips to get you started.

People take selfies for a lot of reasons.  Mostly the selfie is used to capture a happy, memorable or even funny moment that you want to share.  A selfie is also a great time to show off a nice outfit or even a new hairstyle.  Most self-photographers will take a selfie when they are feeling at their best or extra confident.  These are all good reasons to start posing–but keep a few things in mind.

How to Take a Great Selfie

  • Be yourself.  Don’t overdo the sexy or super glamorous stuff.  The best selfies look as if you just happened to snap a picture when you were in your natural element.  Yes, you want to look your best, but you don’t want to look as if it took a lot of extra effort or a ton of work to achieve that look. 
  • Be mindful of the camera angle!  Shooting from below your face with the camera angled upward almost never creates a flattering look and you may even end up with a double chin you didn’t know you had.  As a general rule, holding the camera straight on or slightly above you will create the best angle.  Holding the camera above you can help to highlight shadows and may even create a slimming effect.
  • Smile!  Yes, we know that sometimes it feels awkward to smile at a camera with no one else around to inspire you–but by all means, do it.  If a smile is not what you are looking for, try to go for a natural expression that will give you a pleasant result that doesn’t look something like a startled mug shot.
  • Lighting!  If you are outdoors and sun is behind you, you may want to use the flash so that your shot is not backlit.  If you have the sun shining directly in your eyes, you may end up squinting.  Experiment with outdoor lighting so you know what lighting angle works best with your camera.  When you are indoors, direct lighting placed in front of you is ideal.
  • Sexy Selfies.  There is a lot of controversy about the wisdom (or lack thereof) of posting overly sexy selfies on the Internet.  Be very aware of what you are putting out there in the public domain!   41% of selfie-takers admit to having taken a sexy shot, but a startling 36% of these people end up regretting posting the photo.  Always think twice before pressing that send button.   It may be smarter and ultimately safer to keep your sexy photos to private exchanges between you and a partner that you can trust.

Selfies.  You may as well embrace them, as they are certainly a convenient and fun way of self-expression.  The selfie’s popularity is only going to continue to rise as various apps make taking these pictures even easier.  Don’t be embarrassed to try it; everyone is doing it and if someone says something negative about taking a selfie, it’s likely because they don’t know how to do it. But, now you do! 

The Laws of Lingerie

The Laws of Lingerie

If you came here looking for some legitimate, on the book regulations regarding your sweet little nothings–well, at least to my knowledge, there aren’t any.  That’s not to say, however, that there aren’t a few lingerie rules that we wish (oh, how we wish) that the general population would follow.  A few basic lingerie guidelines could make the world a much better place!

Rule #1:  Lingerie is not just about sex.  No one knows better than we do that lingerie can (and should) be sexy.  Lingerie is that last layer of clothing worn right next to your skin.  It’s intimate.  It’s private.  It’s sensual.  Lingerie also has a job to do and most of the time, that job really has very little to do with sex.

Rule #2:  Lingerie must be comfortable.  Lingerie is worn all day, every day, around the clock, through almost every bit of our daily lives.  Why–oh why–would any woman suffer through wearing something that is uncomfortable, irritating, binding or just plain annoying?  She shouldn’t.

Rule #3:  Lingerie must fit properly.  In order to accomplish Rule #2 as well as to accomplish the important, supportive job that lingerie is supposed to do, it absolutely must fit well.  Don’t just go to the rack and buy the same old size you’ve always worn.  Over a woman’s lifetime, her body changes many times.  Do yourself a big favor and get a proper bra fitting and try things on to see how they work for you.

Rule #4:  Lingerie is primarily for YOU.  Yes, we know for certain that your lingerie may be worn for an audience now and then. Your lingerie, however, should be purchased with your own desires in mind.  If you feel good in your lingerie, that exudes a kind of sexy confidence that nothing else can. Wear lingerie for you and wear what makes you feel great.  A woman who holds herself with confidence commands attention and ultimately, this is what will make you the most attractive.

Rule #5:  All lingerie is not created equally.  Know your body type, love what’s great about it and learn to work with what you’ve got.  Women tend to be overly critical of their bodies and when something doesn’t look good on them, they blame their own flaws.  Perhaps the problem isn’t you at all, but rather it’s the lingerie just not fitting you correctly because it was made for a different body type.  Find and embrace the things that work best for you because sexy comes in many shapes and sizes. 

Rule #6:  A sale does not always equate to a good deal.  Lingerie is frequently priced and put on sale to encourage you to buy multiple items.  This is great if the items are what you need, but if you end up buying five g-strings for the price of four and they just sit in the drawer, this is not a bargain. 

Rule #7:  Wear what you love.  Like other clothing items, lingerie fashion has trends and styles that seem to go in and out of style.  The beauty of lingerie, however, is that because it’s worn under your clothes, you don’t have to feel like you must be a victim to every whim and wave of lingerie fashion.  When you find styles that flatter and fit you well and make you feel confident, stick with those and don’t feel guilty about wearing them whatsoever.

Rule #8:  Lingerie comes in colors other than beige, black and white.  Lingerie has very practical functions but it can still also be fun. Don’t feel trapped into always buying the most practical and functional styles and colors.  A bra and panty set in a vibrant color is a real mood lifter on any day of the week. 

The laws of lingerie are actually very simple and pretty clear.  Make every day a great underwear day! 

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