Bedpost Scoreboard: He’s a Stud, You’re Just Easy

Bedpost ScoreboardRemember that movie from a few years ago called, “What’s Your Number?” Ally, (Anna Faris) agonizingly looks back on the twenty men she’s slept with during her life, taking some heat from her friends who now warn her that because of her high number, the odds of finding a good guy who will actually want to marry her are becoming stacked against her.  Whether this reality is fair or not, the truth of the matter is, there is an unwritten social policy out there.  What’s good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander.  It seems that although sexually skanky behavior might be something that is high-fived or even applauded in a man’s world, this kind of sexual prowess, when equated to females is still frowned upon by many; including that man you might actually want to have for your very own.  Even in our modern world, girls who have slept around often find themselves being judged.  Why the inequality? Aren’t girls allowed to have fun, too?

The truth is, there is a huge double standard out there.  Men are almost expected to be sexually experienced; in fact, most women seem to prefer men that know what they are doing in the bedroom.  Men however, are a different breed and when it comes to the past sexual experience of the woman a man may be dating, she who has a very vast bedroom repertoire can be viewed more negatively, at least when it comes to being potential “wife material”.  Many men do tend to get wrapped up in a woman’s “number” (meaning the number of sexual partners she has had) and if it’s above his personal threshold of what he’s comfortable dealing with, well, that girl might be history.  The number is likely somewhat arbitrary and what it can be does depend on the man—but you can bet that most guys have an idea in their head of what they can live with, and what they can’t.

AskMen.com did a very comprehensive survey in 2013, asking men about how they felt about this somewhat touchy subject. 39% of the males surveyed indicated that they would be bothered if a woman they were in a relationship with had had 10 or more past sexual partners.  Nine percent of the men surveyed indicated that they would be upset about her having more than just one other past sexual partner. The interesting part of this is that according to the 2013 Annual Men’s and Women’s Health sex survey, of the men who responded, 35% indicated they preferred their potential lovers had 3 or less past sexual partners, yet all of these men had more sexual partners than this amount themselves, obviously creating a big double standard.  As archaic as this notion may seem, it seems that in many circles, men are still valued for their sexual proclivity while women are valued more for their perceived naïveté and purity, particularly by men who may be considering these women for any potentially long term relationships.

Because of all these harsh realities in the dating world, women have been known to conveniently begin to disregard, completely discount, or just “not count” various sexual partners that have little, if any significance in the big picture because they know that once their personal “number” starts getting into the double digits, whether she likes it or not, she may be negatively judged.  Nobody likes to mislead or tell big white lies at the beginning of a relationship, but the truth is, not many men want to be with a woman who they perceive as being overly easy, either.  The biggest part of all this conflicting information is the notion that men seem to have that although they think they want this almost innocent virgin, once she is his girlfriend, the woman is then somehow expected to become this complete sex maniac.  In fact, most men would say this is highly encouraged.  And they say women are confusing!! There’s no point in crying over spilt milk, but if you’ve had a few one-night-stand’s too many, it could be time to consider a new strategy.  

Springtime: Can Love Really Be In The Air?

Love Is In The Air!With wintertime rapidly melting away into spring, the signs of warmer weather are everywhere.  Can warmer weather also equate to feelings of love?  British poet Alfred Lord Tennyson famously mused, “In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.” Lord T’s commentary obviously then begs the question, “Is there a real connection between springtime and romance?”

Scientifically speaking, warmer weather does generally make us feel better and this is because of an increased exposure to sunlight.  Longer days, a generally better climate and an upswing of contact with Mr. Sun all naturally will put us in a better mood.  It does stand to reason that being in a better mood would make one more susceptible to romance…but is there any real scientific evidence to support this?

Rumors and folklore about supposed cases of spring fever have been around for hundreds of years, and believe it or not, there does seem to be some legitimacy to its existence.  A case of spring fever has shown to include symptoms such as increased heart rate, a flushed face, a tendency to daydream and a dramatic improvement in energy level.  All these symptoms do indeed seem to be directly correlated to better weather!  Even the most mundane tasks (such as spring cleaning) seem less daunting and far less overwhelming in the springtime.  What is going on here?  Is the change of seasons really that powerful?

According to Helen Fischer, a Rutgers neuroscientist, the culprit at play here is likely a brain chemical called dopamine.  Dopamine is naturally made in your brain, but in the springtime your dopamine levels naturally rise.  Dopamine makes your brain crave new experiences and since springtime is filled with all things new, this also triggers more dopamine production in your brain, thus making you susceptible to other new experiences, not limited to but certainly including love!  “There’s so much novelty in the spring,” said Fisher.  “There is so much more color, new smells, people take their clothes off and you can see more of them. And so there are a lot of new stimuli that trigger the brain and drive up dopamine, and make you more susceptible to love.”

Looking for love?  Springtime just might be the time to find it.  Use the freshness, vibrancy and newness of the spring and world around you as inspiration to find love.  Spend more time outside and participate in more outdoor activities.  Be active.  Look for opportunities you may have been missing.  Smile at someone you don’t know that looks interesting.  Strike up a conversation with that new guy at work.

Already in a relationship?  Springtime is the perfect time to fall in love all over again and rekindle those feelings of romance that may need some attention and nurturing.  Hold hands.  Go on a romantic date.  Break out of your day-to-day routine and try something new and adventurous together.  Invest in some sexy new lingerie pieces that are sure to spice up your sex life. 

Now is the time to take advantage of springtime and all that it has to offer you and your relationship.  Can love really be in the air?  Perhaps it can be.

Plus Size Girls: Bringing Sexy Back

Plus Size Women are Sexy

The world is getting pretty sick of anorexic-looking models with their stick like bodies subliminally telling us what we’re supposed to look like.  Honestly, who really believes that a size 0 body can have 32 DD breasts anyway?  With images tossed at us that are so far away from reality as well as ridiculously airbrushed and photo shopped pictures being the new norm, what’s a curvy girl to do?  Many lingerie retailers are wisely realizing that plus size women are likely the most REAL thing out there in consumer land.  With the average woman sporting a far more voluptuous figure than the media wants you to believe and wearing something close to a size 14, manufacturers of intimate apparel are starting to wise up.  Today’s lingerie comes in a wide array of sizes and much of it is being marketed directly to curvier gals. No matter what your size, there are a few ways to maximize your sexy quotient when you are wearing lingerie. Here are a few tips from our lingerie pros to help you make lingerie choices that will make you feel confident and sexy.

Wear Black:  Everyone knows how flattering black can be and this is particularly true when it comes to lingerie.  Not only is the deep color flattering on most skin tones but it is also going to naturally whittle and slim your figure.  Lighter colors, such as white can be trickier to wear so when you just aren’t sure, choose the darker shade!

Flaunt the Girls:  One of the reasons we wear lingerie is to showcase our girly figures, right?  Giving your breasts the spotlight is never going to be a bad choice.  If you have very heavy breasts, getting a great fitting bra that holds them up in the right place (with lots of cleavage) is the perfect place to start.  Don’t overdo the support thing though as squishing your lovely lady bumps into one giant uniboob is not exactly sexy. 

Matched Sets:  The matched set, whether it is a bra and panty set or a baby doll with a matching g-string, is a cute and fun way to say, “game on!”  Matched sets make you feel extra special and pampered, not to mention sexy as most women don’t wear matching underwear on a day-to-day basis.  Wearing coordinated pieces can feel indulgent, so by all means, treat yourself to some new and sexy duds!

Feel Sexy and Confident:  No matter what lingerie look you ultimately choose, the absolute most important part of the ensemble is confidence.  Whatever you are wearing, wear it well.  When making lingerie choices, choose pieces that make you feel fabulous so your confidence shines from within.  Spend some time in your lingerie alone and get comfortable with yourself in it.  Dance while you are in your undies–it’s fun and will help you to relax and enjoy your body.

Simple Can Be Sexy:  We’ve all seen some pretty amazing lingerie ensembles with corsets, thigh high stockings and garter belts.  If the thought of wearing all these pieces, however, seem overly complicated as well as intimidating, stick to simpler styles that you feel more comfortable with.  Wear lingerie that feels easy and natural to you; he will appreciate this as well as your comfort and confidence will be contagiously sexy.

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